Another Broken Bone!

Well, my oldest child has now broken her second bone! At least this one is a small one, in her left pinkie, but still. I had ardently hoped that my penchant for accidents would skip a generation(or two), but alas, that was never to be. This is the child that chipped her front teeth on her father's head not once, but twice(playing peek-a-boo behind him on the couch........both times)!! The baby who gets her finger obliterated by a rabbit. The child that gets teeth knocked out on trampolines, and on bicycles. The sweet girl who broke her wrist two years ago just playing at recess. This girl weighs heavy on the part of me that wants to curl up and cry like a baby when I see injury or blood of any kind. You know those people that curl in on themselves, swooning and moaning when they see other people's blood? Ya, that's me :) I am so inconvenient to have around during an accident!

So, I woke up with a headache and a full day ahead of me this morning! I missed one of my very first assignments for my English class, and we didn't eat dinner until 9:00 last night, but all five of us are present and accounted for today, so things could be worse! The assignment was only worth five points, so hopefully it won't put too big of a dent in my grade. I can only pray that my two littlest girls will fare better in the injury department, thus sparing me from the constant agony of seeing a piece of my heart wounded!! Either that, or that they at least wait until Daddy is home to start bleeding!! :0

Lots of Hearts :)

This morning very early a tiny little body climbed into the bed beside me. I turned to cuddle this precious child, and she sighed sleepily and told me, "Mommy, I have lots of hearts ". When I asked, "Lot's of hearts?" she nodded her head in affirmation and explained. "I have a big heart for you, and a big blue heart for Daddy, and a sister heart for Sydney, and a giraffe heart for Payton, and one for Grammy." So cute!! What a fantastic way to start a Sunday morning :)

A Budding Politician

Today Payton got sent to her room for yelling. When I went in to talk to her about why she was in trouble, she had a very interesting way of explaining her offense.

When I asked her if she understood why yelling at someone was the wrong way to get their attention, she acted offended. "I wasn't yelling at her Mom", she stated with tiny hands on tiny hips, "I just like talking at people very loud."

Priceless :)

Oh The Things They Say!

As the mother of three darling girls, I can attest to the fact that females have a natural inborn flair for the dramatic. Well, at least MY girls do, and can you all just hear my mother snickering over her long ago declaration that she"hopes I have three girls just like" me? She always said three girls, because there were only the two of us for her, me and Janna, and so she figured even one more for me would be fair and justifiable payback. Well Momma, sometimes you do get exactly what you ask for! :)

Last night I was laying in bed reading a book(shocking, I know) with Chad, and at a full trot enters Brooklyn, effectively demolishing our blissfully serene state. She is sobbing and exasperated, wisps of hair hanging in her face. She slams into my side of the bed and throws her pretty little head down onto the mattress.
"Mommy, Payton is ruining my life!" she muffles into the sheet, but somehow still effecting quite the long-suffering wail. Keep in mind this child is four years old, FOUR! Every time Brooklyn is upset, she is able to express her innermost feelings with her whole body, mind and possibly soul, all the while peeking up at me to make sure I am paying rapt attention. It is a thing of beauty. Now I asked her very calmly what Payton could have possibly done to "ruin her life"(without laughing I think you should know). She has now weaseled her way onto the bed and buries her face into my neck. "She won't go with me to the kitchen, and I'm thirsty." This is also a wail. Effective.

It was dark you see, and these precious children were supposed to be in bed. None of my girls will walk around in the dark, so we keep all of the lights off in the front of the house to discourage getting out of bed, with the exception of a night light in the bathroom. I guess thirst got the better of her and she was going to go get a drink of water, but only if Payton was willing to accompany her and turn on the light. Funny. Who knew water fetching was such a life altering thing?

So even though I knew it was happening I still got up and got the child a cup of water, which is exactly what she wanted in the first place. Dramatic and diabolical!! Watch out world, here come the Hiester girls :)

Pebble Extraction!

Never a dull moment at my house! Yesterday Sydney comes running into the house with Payton and Brooklyn running behind her, all of them screaming and crying. They are all giving us random information simultaneously, but we got from Syd that Payton had a rock up her nose. Now there was blood everywhere, and I don't do well when my children are bleeding, so Chad scoops her up and carries her into the kitchen while I gave myself a mini pep talk about stepping up. :)

Chad looked up her nose with a flashlight and declared that there was nothing up there, but Payton was so insistent and upset, not to mention the breakdown Brooklyn was having over the rock that I took over. I swabbed her nose with a Q-tip and some hydrogen peroxide and then made Chad hold the light while I pushed her nose up and back and peered inside. Sure enough there is this dark pebble lodged waaaaaay back in her right nostril, and she must have been trying to claw it out because there was a lot of blood and her nose was in pretty bad shape. She is a bleeder.

I went into "clinical" mode then, and ordered all of the unhurt screaming children to go outside, made Payton lay back on the counter and close her eyes, and made Chad go get the tweezers and bend them way out and then back together at the tip (for more resistance and a better grip) and then proceeded to dig around in her nose for about five minutes until I extracted the nasal intruder! Go me! the fact that I did it without tears or fainting is such a big thing(and I am talking about me, not Payton)!! The child was so grateful to be free of it that it broke my heart :(

Then I had to pour salt water up her nose to clean it out and ward against infection, which feels like you are drowning and which she took like a champ. Later we determined that the big kids(Sydney had a few neighbor girls in the back yard) had been putting pebbles in their nose and then blowing them out at each other, which is so gross I cannot even tell you, and that Payton had tried to do it, but sucked it into her nose instead of blowing it out! Can you imagine?! What happened to girls playing house or dolls? Well, that was my fun story for the week hopefully, have a great day!

Royalty Among the Masses!

The day before the twins birthday party was a mad jumble of activity, loud noises, and seemingly life-altering decisions. I spent the day out with the twins, which in and of itself is an exercise in patience on a good day. You just cannot expect two preschool age children to be buckled in and out of their boosters to traipse around store after store all afternoon without some resistance.

All in all they were great, only really testing the limits in the cake decoration store. I think I may have said, "Hands to ourselves, please" in that [you will rue the day I first saw your father if you don't remove your hand] tone of voice well over thirty times in the thirty minutes we were there. You know the tone, the one where it comes out all sweet and sing-songy, but is tainted with a menace only a Mother can render! but I have to give them credit, they always pulled their hand away and never actually tried to take anything from the shelves. They only wanted to touch each and every thing within arms reach!

After picking up Syd and Chad I had to get the house ready and dinner on and the following days outfits set out( we had my great-grandmother's funeral to go to before the party) and put together the party favor bags and get everyone showered and pick up the cakes. I fit in an appearance at the tea party being thrown in the twins room, complete with plastic cookies and chicken legs and peas. It was lovely, and so I left for the store a half hour later in a great mood, nothing brightens the day like pretend tea with pretend sugar :)

I picked up the cakes at Von's with what I thought were my sunglasses on my head, chatting with the lady at the bakery about Payton's passion for giraffes and Brookie's preoccupation with princesses. I then meandered through the aisles, happy for a few minutes of solitude, perusing the frozen foods and the cheeses. I picked out three kinds of ice cream next to a lovely mother and her two teenagers, and then stood in line at the checkout behind a father and son, with a young couple behind me in line. I exchanged pleasantries with the woman behind the checkout, and then went out and got into the car to go home. I tell you all of that to tell you this;
My cheek itched terribly as I put on my seat belt, and so I leaned over to look into the rear view mirror to check it out, and discovered that what I thought were my sunglasses was actually a PLASTIC SILVER TIARA!, complete with huge pink plastic stones, which had been bestowed upon me during the tea party!!

The thing that gets me the most, other than my dorky obliviousness, is that no one said a thing!! Not the lady at the bakery, who talked to me for five minutes at least! Nor the woman at the checkout, who I should point out never made eye contact with me, and I can see why!! So either they all thought I was some crazy person it would be unwise to upset, or their professionalism is such that they were afraid to embarrass me. TOO LATE! I went and did that all by myself! :) Or, maybe they were fooled by the plastic stones and thought I was a princess worthy of their respect and admiration!!............lol!

What I hope is that some tired soul was having a bad day, and the sight of a grown woman wearing a tiara while buying princess cakes and acting as if that were not a bit weird gave them a laugh and brightened their day! Hope it brightens yours :)

Another Backseat Debate!

We had another car argument this morning, you know the kind! The one where it starts with a statement by Brooklyn, followed by a snide contradiction by Payton, followed by a high volume retort to the contrary by Brookie, and so on and so forth until the backseat is a puddle of tears and people driving next to us are gawking because they can hear my sweet girls over the music in their cars with their windows rolled up! Oh if only my arms were just four inches longer.......not that that would have mattered today, given that they were in the third row and taking full advantage of their remote location. Let me share the subject they were so vehemently debating; cows.

Now before you double over in raucous laughter at my predicament, hear the whole sad story. The twins have sides of the car that they claim as their own. Claiming territory has been going on since birth, and the car windows were certainly never going to be an exception. Well, due to some unforeseen decision by two unrelated but nonetheless connected farmers, there were cows in the fields directly across the street from each other. So when Brooklyn saw "her" cows, she squealed with precious four year old delight that she had cows!!(some mornings one will have horses, one will have goats, etc.) Payton was watching for critters on her side and is seeing only the cows outside her window so naturally assumes Brooklyn is trying to claim what are rightfully(due to the rules of the car) HER cows! Can you see the storm coming?

Poor Brookie thinks she is being robbed of her coveted cows and starts to raise her voice right away. "They are MY cows Payton, not yours!!", and Payton would never back down from a challenge when her property is being threatened, so of course she screeches back, "MINE!", and there starts the one word war for the duration of the ride! "MINE!", "NO!", "MINE!", "NO!", and when I try to input reason into the scene, I get lots and lots of that funny gibberish girls talk when they are really upset and crying over something, and I get it from both of them at high volume simultaneously. Whew! I was never happier to pull into the garage and deliver the necessary comfort hugs! Needless to say I will be using my alternative driving route to reach our destination later this afternoon, and may the cows stay as forgotten as every other thing they get heated up about! True to form, they are now sitting and putting a puzzle together, thick as thieves. I wish we all could forgive and forget so easily.

Thank Heaven for spirited little girls! :)

Biliferous Birthday!!

Hello people! I hope you all had a beautiful Mother's Day! I was vomiting and racked with fever, but other than that mine was lovely. :) The Advil would kick in and I would have about two hours of halfway normality, and so I squeezed in as much fun as possible between doses. I went and explored old boats and ships on the San Francisco Bay, meandered through the Aquarium, got sick on a park bench, and then took some more Advil and watched everyone else eat lunch and then did a little shopping before we had to leave. The weekend was actually pretty lovely considering my bad turn of luck and the unfortunate reality of Brookie sleeping literally the entire time we were there. We just bought a stroller when we got there and pushed her little sleeping body all over San Fran for two days! We have pictures of her sleeping all over the city, to show her all she missed. I got to spend some time with my Mom and my girls, so all in all it was a great day.

Yesterday I was just as sick, and so I tried to stay down and rest. Brooklyn still wasn't feeling quite like herself however, and she was pretty frank about her feelings. She wanted me to hold her, but I had the shakes so bad from the fever that I asked her to just sit next to me instead, explaining that Mommy wasn't feeling well. She turns the full power of her deep blue eyes upon me and starts to cry these big crocodile tears. "What's wrong baby?" I inquired, and she responds with this heart wrenching wail, "I don't want you to be sick, I want to be sick!" No sympathy from the masses, I'm afraid. Mommy doesn't get a sick day.

Now yesterday was the day when four years ago my two precious little ones entered this world! I was so pitiful I had to ask my own Mommy to get a cake for the girls so that we could sing to them properly with candles and a few gifts. I guess being a mom is a forever job, because even at almost 29 I still ran to mine when I was sick! Thank goodness we postponed their actual party until the 23rd. Thank goodness that even after all of these years, when I needed it Mom still had the power to fix anything! I just hope that when my girls are grown they can say the same of me.

Another update on the sickies!

Well, last night Brookie's luck ran out and right in the middle of a pouting session in the hallway her dinner exited her body much much quicker than it had been previously put in!(the child eats like a snail) She doesn't seem to have it as bad as Payton, but we are leaving for San Francisco tomorrow at 6:00 a.m., so in my book, it is just as bad! Her immune system has always been stronger than Payton's, so we can hope for a quicker recovery time. Sydney is still healthy, so that's a plus, but I am now running on pure adrenaline and diet Pepsi after three nights of cleaning, cuddling, and cooing, not necessarily in that order. Not so good for Momma. Or Daddy if we are being totally honest. :)

After about the third time Brooklyn "visited the bowl" by her bed she reaches for me, and as she hugged me fiercely she says, " I decided I don't want to be sick no more Mom, I better." So cute and sad :( The poor girl thinks because she kept asking and pretending to be sick to be with Payton that she can decide to be better too! Not even Brooklyn can make that happen!

Wish me luck on this relaxing Mother's Day vacation, and I hope you all have a beautiful day whether you be mother or daughter!

Update, and It's a Twin Thing!

Today Payton was as sick as before, only she switched from vomiting to having a high fever and sleeping literally all day. We have seen the doctor, and at this point are just trying to make her as comfortable as possible until it runs its course. She can drink today, so my dehydration fears have been put to rest!(at least something has, Goodness knows I haven't the past two days!)

I have kept Brooklyn and Sydney away from Payton rather successfully so far, but not without effort, and it has shown me another interesting thing about twins. Though they are fraternal and two different little people, they identify themselves as a unit, and as a unit do not function properly when separated. This afternoon after Brookie had lunch she was following me around the house like a lost puppy, so I told her to go outside and play.
"I can't go outside Momma", she says to me "you have to have two kids to play outside".
"How about playing with Ponyville then?", I ask.
"No, you have to have two for that too."
"OK, then lets put a movie on for you".
"No mom, you need two for that too, I can't do anything without Payton, I need her!" she cries, and then covers her face with her arm Sarah Bernhard style and leans into my leg. I picked her up and tried telling her about germs and fevers, but she just fake coughed and claimed to be ravaged with sickness and asked if she could go to her sister. It broke my heart to tell her no, but I did let her wave from the doorway!

Tonight I was putting Payton into a cool bath, and she cried for Brooklyn the whole time while just leaning there motionless. I am ashamed to say I caved, and let Brookie get into the bath, warning them not to touch each other. Payton perked right up at the sight of her sister, and they talked and giggled while I washed them. Payton's fever broke while they were playing, and she went to bed cool and happy, something cool rags and Pedialyte Popsicles and Tylenol and Ibuprofen couldn't accomplish. I am just saying..........

You know, Payton started to get better in the hospital the minute they let me touch her and once we let the two of them touch and smell each other they got released from the NICU, and neither one can sleep well if the other isn't close enough to touch even now. Maybe they need that when they are sick too. How lucky to be made with a built in best friend! I am always learning from these two precious ones, and so grateful for the opportunity! :)

P.S. Sydney has totally rocked and helped me pick up the slack these last two days.....without even having to be asked! She is the best kid, I tell you :)

Bowls, Backseats and Super Bugs

Today my littlest one woke me up at 4:30 a.m. by vomiting last nights dinner onto the floor next to my bed. Poor little baby made it just far enough to share it with me! I didn't have the heart to point out to her the screamingly obvious difference in distance between her bed and the toilet and her bed and my bed, but she is young and cute so I forgave and held my tongue! Now let's cross our fingers and pray Sydney and Brooklyn don't follow, since we are going to San Francisco by train on Saturday. Can you imagine a sick child on a moving train? Do you even want to?

As most of you know we take Chad to work in the mornings, and so we had to strap the poor thing into the car with a bowl and a towel and head out at ten to six. She used the bowl the whole trip there, and then on the way back fell into a fitful sleep. I was gazing at her in the rear view mirror, admiring her sweet face, when the bowl goes tumbling from her lap and splashes it's lovely contents all over the floor of the car! Since I was driving I could do nothing but lament the recently departed cleanliness of the carpet and roll down the windows. (SIGH) If only I hadn't decided to clean and vacuum the car out yesterday!! Such is the way of life with me though, and there is no use bemoaning my ill-fated and short-lived love affair with my clean car, I do have three kids and a pretty lackadaisical attitude when it comes to bringing food and toys and such aboard! :)

Now Brooklyn and Payton call the stuff that spews forth from themselves when they throw up their "sick". So I was holding Payton while she was utilizing the bowl, and Brooklyn is standing next to me straining to see into the bowl.
"OOH, 'ellow(yellow) sick!" she squeals,
"Payton, you have 'ellow sick!"
"Is it corn sick? Is it cheese sick? No, it's corn sick, you have corn sick!" all of this commentary in high volume as poor Payton is dry heaving and I am trying not to laugh. You cannot under any circumstances laugh while a child is vomiting you see, it is in very poor taste. Oh, Brooklyn my dear, where do you come up with this stuff? You are full of mystery!(and a fair amount of bull)

I am happy to say Payton is feeling much better right now, and she has kept liquid down for an hour now, praise God. I am slathering on the hand sanitizer(on much more than my hands) and spraying the Lysol and praying it was just something she ate. My nephew Tyler would cringe at all of the antibacterial products I am spreading about my home right now, as we speak helping to create more of the super bugs that will eventually get us all. I will sleep soundly tonight in spite of that fact, knowing his generation will surely fix it all! ;) I promise to go straight back to my vinegar and baking soda cleaning products right after the trip!

It"s Always Something!!( a tale of muddy toes)

My sweet Sydney had a field trip that I had agreed to go on, to Scout's Island on the river. Since we take Chad to work in the morning we had approximately 28 minutes when we got back to get ready(all four of us girls),drop off the twins and be at Syd's school. Well, imagine my triumphant surprise when we got out of the door on time!! I pulled up to Paige's and the twins climbed out without me even having to get out of the car, and met her at the door like the little angels they so often are!( hear me snickering?) Sydney got out and closed the back door for them, and so I didn't make my horrifying discovery until we pulled up in front of her school and I went to get out of the car. I forgot to put shoes on!! With all of our frantic dressing and hair doing and make-up applying and seat belt buckling, Somehow I had gotten into the car without shoes!! I always take off my right shoe when I drive, so I hadn't even noticed the foot nakedness! I panicked in true Tara form, turning red and hissing at Sydney to just "go to class without me" as I searched the bottomless pit that is our back seat for something to put on my feet! I found a pair of flip flops( Praise the Lord!) and slipped my feet into them and ran to her class, only to sit there for fifteen minutes because the bus was late. Of course. This is my life I am so candidly sharing after all. My dear friend Amanda looks down at my feet(seriously, how often does one look at someones feet for goodness' sake?) and laughs out loud at me. She said, "good luck in those things" and laughs harder at my puzzled expression. Turns out there was a lot of muddy hiking involved with that particular field trip, and my just painted toes got quite the impromptu mud mask!! I have been slathering lotion on them for days now, but for some reason they still feel dry to me. Probably just a little over reaction, but really, can your feet be rubbed with too much lotion? I would have to say NO.

After Hours Closet Grooming!

Chad and I were sitting in the living room last night after the girls went to bed. We were having a delightful conversation when we were interrupted by muffled giggles coming from somewhere in the back of the house. I got up to investigate, and found the twins room empty, but my bedroom door ajar and a faint glow coming from behind it. A mystery? Not with twins; with two preschoolers there is always mischief afoot. I can tell the light is coming from our closet, but both doors are closed, probably in a vain attempt to keep themselves and their shenanigans hidden from us. I open the door to the debacle of brushing and shaving CareBears!! Payton was sitting on the floor with my toothbrush, brushing her new CareBears hair with it, and Brooklyn is sitting there with Chad's razor, shaving a bald spot into the back of her bear! A weird kind of hiccup-shout erupted from my throat, and I almost knocked Brookie down yanking the razor from her hand. I yelled out the dangers of Daddy's razor and the horrors of getting out of bed without permission as they both stood there crying and selling out their sister, little fingers pointed accusingly at the other as though they too were shocked she would do such a thing. I picked up my toothbrush that Payton had launched across the closet upon my abrupt arrival to discover it full of blue CareBear hair, and threw it onto the counter as I ushered them back to their own room. They cried their apologies as I tucked them back in, and sternly told them to stay in their beds this time. Knowing they would(they don't do getting in trouble well, it exhausts them), I went back out to tell Chad about it, and we both got a good laugh at the expense of the poor bald-backed bear. We have to find a higher place for the razor now, because apparently they are tall enough to reach it. Thank goodness it was just the bear that was shaved!!

A Funeral For a Fish Friend

Sadly, our bottom feeder Monster died on Friday. He had been swimming funny all week, and I had the sneaking suspicion that the end was near when I noticed he wasn't eating any of his yummy algae disks. Sydney took it hard. We have had the thing since she was three, and even though she couldn't pet it or play with it, she did talk to him every day. He didn't get buried until last night. Gross. Sydney felt that she needed a few days to mourn him before she put him into the ground, Chad and I called it his "viewing". I made Chad put it in a plastic bag and then put it back into the tank until they buried it so it wouldn't just be decomposing in the tank, but that ended up being gross too. Oh well, he was way too big to flush, and at least it's over now. Every one in my house is already talking about getting a new tenant for the tank, like a snake or a turtle, but I am demanding we leave it vacant for a while. I feigned respect for the dead, but the true reason is that I will inevitably be the one feeding ad caring for it, and I already begrudge doing that for the warm blooded animals that dwell with us. I would love to have a snake some day though, I like snakes. I do not however, want to feed it baby mice, so I told Chad to research alternative feeding methods before we get one. I have cleaned and removed the tank from the house, and so maybe everyone will forget about a new pet and we can all just enjoy the new found counter space in the bathroom!

CAUTION: This Story is About Fleas!--EEWWW!

We have, in the eternally precious words of Miss Brooklyn Beth Hiester, "bugs". That is to say fleas, which the sweet kitty we brought home six months ago is now apparently sharing with the rest of the house. We used Frontline on the cat and the dog at first, but after the fleas appeared to be gone, we stopped. Big Mistake. Ko-Ko showed up with them first, and no matter how many bath-and-tweezers sessions I had with her she just got worse. I finally had to take her to a groomer in shame, apologizing for the nature of my visit and avoiding eye contact at all costs. We got her cleaned up and Frontlined, so now she is happy and flea free. The cat has been Frontlined too, but unfortunately for Chad, you cannot Frontline husbands! For some reason that defies explanation, fleas love Chad, and so far seem to abhor the taste of me and my girls. This is not new knowledge, for we have had a run in with these little blood suckers before.
When my brother and sister in law went to Italy for their honeymoon, the five of us went and stayed at their house with the kids. We slept in their room (before Todd laid the new wood floor), and every night Chad would get eaten alive by these vile creatures. I of course believed none of it, since I had not one bite, not one, and we were sleeping right next to each other. He would get flustered trying to convince me, but after night four I had to concede because he WAS waking up with more bites than he was going to sleep with. I left that house with nary a bite to call my own. The man was tortured for days until they cleared up.
Now back to our present situation. I have not one bite, and the girls are clear too, but of course poor Chad is covered. I swear they lie in wait for him, and as soon as they hear him snore they unleash their masses upon his sleeping form!! He encounters fleas on the job occasionally, and the man reacts badly to them each time, but this is bad. The groomer said they wouldn't stay on us because our body temperature is too high, and Chad is a furnace as I have said, but the little buggers must love the taste of him to risk being seared alive during the meal! I fogged our room today, and tonight after he gets home, we will fog the house and leave for the recommended three hours, and then maybe he can get some sleep. The pest guy is coming Monday to spray the yard, so hopefully we can clear up the problem before I wake up one morning and Chad is just gone, eaten right out of his jammies! I have washed all of the bedding multiple times, and again today, but since we are renting this house we cannot just tear up the carpet, which is what we would like to do. Why can't every floor just be hardwood? That would solve so many of my cleaning problems, and I vow never to own a house with wall to wall carpet! I am sorry if the subject matter today has given you the willies, I would probably be more weirded out except that I never see any of them, just the devastation they leave in their tiny little wake!

Nothing Dignified About THIS Society Member! :(~

I woke up this morning with a burning desire to rearrange something. It is usually furniture, but Chad has forbidden me from doing that without him for now, and like a good wife I am trying to grant him his wish even if it is done with deep regret and a whole lot of heavy sighing. So I got Sydney off to school and Ashton is his bouncer and set off in search of something cluttered and neglected. I found many, many places that fit that description, but my kitchen "junk drawers"(yes, that's plural) won the makeover!
I spent the next three hours gutting and refilling the drawers, redirecting their purpose and finding a happy place for everything. I had let the twins out into the backyard to play, and they had been out there for the first two hours with nothing but squeals and make believe coming in through the back windows. They skipped inside both holding a bouquet of beautiful purple flowers......that smell kind of like a skunk that enjoyed a boat load of garlic right before it died! I don't know if many of you are familiar with Society Garlic, but it stinks. I cannot imagine anything so stinky being accepted into civilized plant society, let alone any other society you might think of. I would pull it out, but it smells so bad I can't get up the nerve to touch it. The scent lingers even after a bath, and clothes with the scent upon them must either be thrown right into the wash on hot, or quarantined in the garage until washing can be accomplished.
I am trying to paint a mental scent picture, am I achieving my goal? If you can imagine the scent, imagine my dilemma when these two beautiful girls come traipsing in holding handfuls of the offending blossoms. They were yelling, "Mommy, we picked flowers for you!", and Brookie is yelling "get a vase!", Payton is insisting that I smell them, and both are carrying the foulness into the house. I smiled(or grimaced) and thanked them and took the flowers, trying to touch them with as little of my hand as possible. I got out a vase and filled it with water and then spun a tale of how some flowers need to be out in the fresh air to last a long time. I convinced them that the vase should sit out on the patio table, for them to enjoy each time they played, and they soaked up the lie like the little sponges they are. Mommy is not only magical and super strong, she is also all-knowing!
I cannot get the smell of that plant out of my house, and am worried my hand scrubbing didn't do the job. Now it is 6:30 and I have developed a headache and a touch of nausea. I think it is half real and half in my head, but I am starting to smell it on myself, and am seriously considering taking another shower. Do you think stench can actually get into the folds of your brain? The thought, though absurd, seems sane enough at the moment, this is how badly affected I am by this smell. Sad.
If this story has a moral, I think it should be that a plant with an ironic name should not planted without a disclaimer!

* on a side note: I did not plant this offending flora, it was here when we moved in. :)

Toenails and Chinese Food

We all went to dinner with my Dad last night, and we went to our usual Chinese restaurant, Royal Palace. The food is pretty good and they are struggling to stay open in this economy, so if you like Chinese food and interesting Chinese art, please go try it, you get a 10% discount for the next three months! Now that the plug is done(the waitress asked us to please tell our friends), on to the meal.
We always order a couple of appetizers along with our usual entrees, so that the girls can try plenty of new things. This time we ordered shanghai scallops and paper wrapped chicken and pot stickers. The twins were digging the scallops, and also the freedom of being able to serve themselves from the dish due to their distance from me and their proximity to Grandpa. My Dad is always tickled pink that the girls eat so many different foods, and last night was no exception. I think they realize this, because the same girls that don't want mashed potatoes on Tuesday will eat steamed onions and squash and shellfish on Wednesday! Payton loved the mushrooms, and she would loudly proclaim each and every time she picked one out of the plate that it looked like a giant's toenail! Then she would tease Brookie with it, and then pop it into her mouth and announce that she just LOVED grey toenails! It got to the point where I could no longer eat the mushrooms on my plate, I get grossed out about slimy food pretty easily. They ate every vegetable on the plate along with the scallops, and Brooklyn even tried Chad's Mongolian chicken, which was very spicy. Sometimes I think maybe she doesn't taste spice the way the rest of us do, because the girl can handle some heat! They chattered away with my Dad, and listened to Sydney's jokes(she is quite funny) while they ate, and were being perfect little ladies all throughout dinner. I wish something funny and truly entertaining had transpired, but alas, they all behaved themselves and had a great time. They collapsed into bed as soon as they got home, and I had a horrible nightmare that I ordered food from a restaurant and each time I would go to take a bite, a huge toenail clipping would be right there on the fork, taunting me with it's very presence! Thanks Payton, mmm toenails! :(-

Fantastic Fashion and Mud Pastries!

Anytime the sun is out the girls follow me around all morning, causing all sorts of opportunities for me to trip and break my neck, asking if they can go outside. Today was one of those days, so I got them dressed right after breakfast and released them into the wild(backyard). Brooklyn doesn't really like mud, so she will usually swing and sing and yell at Payton to get out of her way. Payton on the other hand just LOVES mud, and she makes me lots of very interesting mud pastries, every one with a warning not to really eat it. Well, the roles were reversed today(they love to make a liar out of me), and so I watched as Brooklyn made mud castles(apparently she is not going to bake with her mud, the girl moved right to architecture) and Payton walked around the grass in my high heels and one of these gigantic purses my Mom gives them. Payton calls them "curses" which I think is quite fitting and so am in no hurry to correct. Brooklyn kept demanding that Payton join her in the dirt, and Payton just ignored her and strutted around, muttering to herself how beautiful she was in her new shoes. Brooklyn can be charming when she wants to be, but this day she has apparently chosen to be loud and forceful in her persuasion. She kept yelling to Payton, "Come play with the dirt!", over and over and with escalating ferocity. Payton continued to ignore her, digging those heels deep into the grass and then yanking them out with each step, singing, "Hallelujah, I'm a rock star"(she seems to enjoy mixing her worship music with her Hannah Montana!) Now Payton had done this very thing last week, but today she had the delightful addition of Sydney's training bra and a pair of too-tight pink cotton shorts! I promise(in case my mother is reading this) that I put regular-sized shorts and a matching T-shirt on the child after breakfast this morning, but the twins frequently throughout the day override my fashion choices with unique combinations of their own. I allow this because there are only so many ways a three year old can express herself, and I won't let them dress themselves when we are actually going to be leaving the house. Needless to say, many colorful and bizarre outfits ensue from this freedom! So, back to Brooklyn yelling from her dirt housing tract. She finally gets up and stomps over to Payton and stands in the way of Payton's continuous circle and reaches for the purse. "Come play with dirt!" she demands, and to my complete surprise Payton actually puts the "curse" down and kicks off the heels(hitting Brooklyn in the leg with one which they both giggled at) and followed her over to the soft dirt to bake along side her very dominant and usually successful sister. For the past hour I have been treated to the beautiful sound of the two of them giggling and talking and sometimes full out belly laughing at the things they are creating. Right now I glanced out to see them chasing a butterfly across the yard. Isn't motherhood lovely?!

Allergies and Algophobia

I am not feeling at the top of my game today, due to the horrible feeling of my head wanting to detach itself from my body. Though tempted to let it float away on the breeze, I must keep it firmly planted where it stands and attempt to drift through my day in this allergy fog. The imbalance this is causing me is unsettling, because I am not steady on my feet on a good day, and I have an intense hate/hate relationship with pain. I have stubbed my toe and bruised my left shin twice already, so you can see where the day is leading!
The twins have decided that today they do not want to get along, and have proceeded to torture me with back and forth taunting all morning. One minute it is Payton crying and running to me, and the next it is Brooklyn. Unless they are hitting I feel that they should deal with it amongst themselves, and so you can imagine the carousel of crying, running, and being sent on their way!
I just want to climb in bed and feel sorry for myself, but am getting nowhere near that goal, and complaining is certainly not being helpful. With no fever, no cough and no excuses, I must barrel through my day until that blissful moment when Chad turns off the living room TV, or puts down the book and asks, "wanna go to bed?". I look forward to that everyday, but today, it will surely have a magical quality to it! Why wait for that moment you ask? Why not go to bed before him, or take a nap? Well, my sweet husband goes to work Monday through Friday, regardless of how sick or tired he is, or if he has a fever, or is just suffering from allergies. I watch my cousin's baby, so there is the first and most obvious reason for no nap, but the second is that I feel horribly guilty taking a nap when the poor man is trudging along out in the elements, feeling the same way I do. If he came home and plopped himself on the couch and did nothing I would probably not feel so bad, but he comes home and helps me referee the girls and get dinner started and pick up the daily disaster that is our living room after the kids go to bed. I also do not go to bed without him because we get so little time together as it is, I don't want to waste it sleeping in another room when I could be up talking his ear off. We are both enthusiastic talkers, and so always have plenty to say! He is also a human furnace, and our room is cold !
I sat down to write this as an escape from the girls and all of their bickering, and amazingly not once since I have been sitting here has a fight broken out! They just came out of their room holding hands, to show me a "magical leaf" for their ponies that helps them to fly! It is just a silk leaf from the cats scratching tree(yes, I have ugly trees for the sole purpose of entertaining the cat), but until today I was totally in the dark about their magical qualities! No wonder they please the cat the way they do! Well, I have to go make lunch for these two little beauties, have a great day!

Glove Update!

Well, the deed is done, and it wasn't half as terrible as I am sure my sweet husband imagined it would be! So, my father-in-law is now sporting a fresh band-aid(minus any cool cartoon characters, we go through band-aids too fast for anything high-dollar), and Chad can take a deep breath and move on!