I am so bad at sharing things on my blog. I can sit up at night and weave beautiful, lyrical stories to explain our days, but I never seem to find the time to sit and type them out. They roll around in my head, amusing me and maybe the two or three people I share them with the next day. Then they are gone, and I lament over another memory lost to time.

Anyone else feel frantic that you just won't remember all of the precious things your children will do? That you just go and go and go, and never quite give them everything they need?

The lord has been working on my heart, helping me to see that love and security are the things my daughters need from me most.

-They might not have beautiful scrapbooks to document their every memory(though I wish they did).

-They absolutely won't have letters from Mommy in those beautiful, sweet journals I picked out for just that reason, at least not from birth until now. There are a few, but the books stay mostly blank. I just seemed to have let that good intention slip through my hands.

-They don't have professional pictures from each month or year, even though I dreamed of it, and feel more and more guilty with each passing year. I feel bad every time I see another adorable picture of my friends children.

-They NEVER have their nice dresses ready to wear for church, even though they have quite a few. Someone never seems to remember to iron them in time. Someone can be a bit lazy when it comes to laundry.

-I NEVER remember to charge my point and shoot camera, and so many a vacation and school related milestone has been filed away to mental memory, with nary a picture to be had.

-We have at least 5 half-finished craft projects floating around the house at any given time. "tomorrow" always gets stretched to "What about this new project?".

I stress and worry, and carry so much guilt over what I am not able to do for these three precious girls God has given me. I often feel that I will never get to where I want to be, never be good enough to give them what they deserve. I show them a frazzled, over-extended example of what a mother should be.

I so often fail.

Then God whispers to my soul, and reminds me that they are His children before they are mine. Their eternal soul is what matters, not the bow in their hair. He has to remind me of what I am giving them.

-I try to serve and love their Daddy as God has commanded me, so that they can grow and see what a wife of worth should be.(I fail at this often, but then they get to see that mistakes will be made)

-I try to admit my failings when I am quick to anger, put them off, or just downright ignore them. I tell them I love them at least 20 times a day.

-I bake. A lot. That has to be worth something in the memory department, right?

-I get down on myself over my appearance(see last sentence), and they get to hear their sweet Daddy tell me that God made me for him, and he thinks that I'm everything he wanted me to be, and beautiful.(this is something Chad gives them, which I think is a priceless lesson for a daughter about beauty)

-I every day remind them that they have a heavenly Father that loves them and desires nothing more than to be their gracious Savior.

I can cross my eyes on demand, which is apparently a VERY admirable skill :)

I just love them. With my whole self. Each one in her own wonderful way, more than my very life.

I hope when they look back at the things that shaped their lives, I was enough.

I hope that even if I was not, they will know and cherish the simple fact that, God is.

"Oh Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, oh Lord, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me: it is high, I cannot attain it."

Psalm 139: 1-6

2011.....So Far!!

Hello! I am sure no one reads this anymore, given the fact that I posted a total of 7 times ALL last year :)

So many things have been changing and going on in our lives this past year, and though some of them have been hard, for the most part they have helped our family grow closer and more involved in each other than we ever were before.

I have to share some of the funny things my girls have said or done, and so I will do so, quickly and to the point!


-Sydney putting her hands to her head and moaning, "Who wants to grow up if it's going to be like THIS?!" (puberty has started, and even SHE is baffled by the spontaneous tears!)

-Sydney broke her arm twice in the past 4 months, and her solution; "Mom, I could wrap pillows on my arms when I go outside, and then tiptoe." hahaha!

-Payton outlawed the words "small" and "tiny" when referring to her person. I am, however, allowed to call her "Mighty Mouse".

-Brooklyn has decided she no longer wants to be a princess. She wants to be a Mom. I told her that is pretty much the opposite of being a princess, and she replied, "No, because when I'm a Mom I get to tell people what to do." Hahaha!

-Sydney received the Sparthenian award at school, and she told me in the car on the way home that day,
"Now I have accomplished everything I ever wanted to do." I asked, "What about going to college, marriage, kids??" and she said, "Mom, one day at a time." VERY good point baby :)

-My wonderful husband Chad sighing in the kitchen and saying, "Being at home is a thankless job, and it NEVER ends." Ahh, sweet, sweet recognition!

-Chad deciding that the TV is unhealthy for our family, and making the decision to shut off the cable. This has been a desire of mine for years but I have never pushed the issue, and I love him for giving up something he enjoys for the sake of our family.

-Payton climbed to the top of our swing set and was walking on TOP of the monkey bars!! I ran out and told her to get down, to which she replied, "AWW Mom, why do you always gotta keep me down?" Yes Payton, just call me "The Man" ! :)

-Brooklyn told me the other night, "I wish I was a grownup so I could stay up late and do the dishes." hahaha!!

...and to finish this off, Sydney gave me a hug and said, "You're the best Mom.......except for when I'm in trouble, but I know that's for my own good and everything, so I guess it's alright."

Well, thank you for the approval Sydney Rae!! :)