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I am so bad at sharing things on my blog. I can sit up at night and weave beautiful, lyrical stories to explain our days, but I never seem to find the time to sit and type them out. They roll around in my head, amusing me and maybe the two or three people I share them with the next day. Then they are gone, and I lament over another memory lost to time.

Anyone else feel frantic that you just won't remember all of the precious things your children will do? That you just go and go and go, and never quite give them everything they need?

The lord has been working on my heart, helping me to see that love and security are the things my daughters need from me most.

-They might not have beautiful scrapbooks to document their every memory(though I wish they did).

-They absolutely won't have letters from Mommy in those beautiful, sweet journals I picked out for just that reason, at least not from birth until now. There are a few, but the books stay mostly blank. I just seemed to have let that good intention slip through my hands.

-They don't have professional pictures from each month or year, even though I dreamed of it, and feel more and more guilty with each passing year. I feel bad every time I see another adorable picture of my friends children.

-They NEVER have their nice dresses ready to wear for church, even though they have quite a few. Someone never seems to remember to iron them in time. Someone can be a bit lazy when it comes to laundry.

-I NEVER remember to charge my point and shoot camera, and so many a vacation and school related milestone has been filed away to mental memory, with nary a picture to be had.

-We have at least 5 half-finished craft projects floating around the house at any given time. "tomorrow" always gets stretched to "What about this new project?".

I stress and worry, and carry so much guilt over what I am not able to do for these three precious girls God has given me. I often feel that I will never get to where I want to be, never be good enough to give them what they deserve. I show them a frazzled, over-extended example of what a mother should be.

I so often fail.

Then God whispers to my soul, and reminds me that they are His children before they are mine. Their eternal soul is what matters, not the bow in their hair. He has to remind me of what I am giving them.

-I try to serve and love their Daddy as God has commanded me, so that they can grow and see what a wife of worth should be.(I fail at this often, but then they get to see that mistakes will be made)

-I try to admit my failings when I am quick to anger, put them off, or just downright ignore them. I tell them I love them at least 20 times a day.

-I bake. A lot. That has to be worth something in the memory department, right?

-I get down on myself over my appearance(see last sentence), and they get to hear their sweet Daddy tell me that God made me for him, and he thinks that I'm everything he wanted me to be, and beautiful.(this is something Chad gives them, which I think is a priceless lesson for a daughter about beauty)

-I every day remind them that they have a heavenly Father that loves them and desires nothing more than to be their gracious Savior.

I can cross my eyes on demand, which is apparently a VERY admirable skill :)

I just love them. With my whole self. Each one in her own wonderful way, more than my very life.

I hope when they look back at the things that shaped their lives, I was enough.

I hope that even if I was not, they will know and cherish the simple fact that, God is.

"Oh Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, oh Lord, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me: it is high, I cannot attain it."

Psalm 139: 1-6